The Neuroscience of Navigating Change: Create Resilient Teams in Turbulent Times

First Republic Bank
May 5, 2021

Rapid and relentless change is now the norm in today’s global business environment. Markets shift overnight; teams must collaborate across geographies, time zones and cultures; and the future is always uncertain.

The human brain is wired to seek reward and avoid pain. Since change is associated with the fear of a potentially painful future, we must first understand how fear shuts down the key planning, innovation and emotional engagement areas of the brain.

In this dynamic and highly interactive session, you’ll learn key neuroscience techniques that can be applied to shift a person’s, a team’s or an entire organization’s mindset with remarkable results — yielding greater innovation, social connection, vision, emotional engagement and open communication.

Watch our program that will turbocharge your ability to navigate change, create a more positive and empowered culture, and generate more compelling results — and get these outcomes faster and with deeper fulfillment.

Read below for a full transcript of the conversation. 

Amie Stevens - Alright. Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Amie Stevens, Deputy Director of our Boston Office at First Republic Bank. Thank you for all joining us today for our special presentation with Christine Comaford on the Neuroscience of Navigating Change: Create Resilient Teams in these Turbulent Times. Bill Gates calls her the super high bandwidth. For over 30 years, leadership and culture coach, Christine, has helped organizations navigate growth and change. She specializes in applied neuroscience which helps our clients achieve tremendous results in record time. Christine was a software engineer in early days of Microsoft and Apple. And as an entrepreneur, she's built and installed five companies with an average ROI of 700%. During her diverse career, she has consulted with over 700 of the Fortune 1000, 300 mid-size enterprises, two white house administrations, and eight billionaires. Before we start, just a couple of quick housekeeping notes. We'll take questions at the end of the session. To submit a question, please utilize the Q&A button. The recording will be available on our website in about a week. If you would like to follow along during Christine's presentation, please find the materials posted in the chat. If you would like her complimentary book "Power Your Tribe" please fill out the form that will be posted in the chat. And with that Christine, floor is yours. Welcome.

Christine - Thank you so much, Amie. Thank you. Welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us today. Many of us think that if we can just get through this one change, then everything is going to be easier. But have you noticed that we all live now in perpetual continuous change? So you're going to learn four neuroscience-based tools today. These tools can be used in three minutes to 15 minutes, so they're super fast, they're super efficient, and they have worked with well over 1000 companies all over the planet. So these are tools that work with humans and companies of all sizes. So let's start first to look at what specifically you're going to learn. How to shift your team's most challenging behaviors. Think of it this way. At any given moment, a person has a number of behavioral choices, behavioral options on their behavioral menu. We want to give them more options so where they could maybe shut down and get angry and discouraged, they actually have more behavioral choice. So we're going to learn some tools to get them more behavioral choice, more empowerment as a result, right? And give them tools to also really focus on outcomes instead of problems. When we get in stress states, we usually look at everything that's not working, which doesn't help us find everything that could be working instead. So we're going to shift focus as well, very quick tools that pop people out of their amygdala hijack, their what we call creature neurology, into their prefrontal cortex. The best part about being human where we have innovation, communication, collaboration.

And then also we are going to help them see change as an opportunity to grow. Change is often seen as something negative but we want to give them the experience of change being something positive and expansive. At work, we must have the experiences of achievement, of aspiration and of the insights We have to have our own insights in order for us to really own them, aspire, we're cold and hungry here, but here's the great place that we're going, and then a sense of achievement. I did something, I achieved something thus I had the agency. Good. So what do we do? To take our people, whether it's your tribe at work or at home, to navigate change to give them tools to navigate change, we need to help make them emotionally resilient. Here is the ROI, the return on investment, from the 1000 plus companies we've taught these tools to. Sales closed up to 50% faster. Productivity. You don't need to hire more people. Get your people currently that you have more productive. We'll show you how. And then more emotional engagement. Thank God it's Monday. I love my company. And then of course, revenues and profits go up. So I want us to start to really look at how do we do this, but first we have to take a quick little trip through very high level of the brain and how it works. The pathways going from the emotional brain to the intellect, are like a six lane super highway going in one direction, whoosh. But the pathways going from the intellect back to the emotional brain are like a little teeny trail through the forest. So what does this mean? Human beings are deeply emotional creatures. 90% to 93% depending on whose research that you look to, of our decisions are driven or dominated by our emotional brain. The more we understand how to navigate a person's emotions, the more effectively we lead them, the more productivity we get, the more emotional engagement, devotion, loyalty we get. So let's unpack all this. Very high-level artistic view of the brain. Three key areas. Reptilian, mammalian, and then the neocortex. Reptilian brain basically stimulus response machine. It thinks of dead or not, okay? Safe or not. The mammalian brain. It's also a pretty basic stimulus response machine coded for safety, but it's more around emotional safety. Is this person friend or foe?

Next, the neocortex, the prefrontal cortex right behind your forehead. This is where we have the best part about being human. Language skills, toolmaking, ability to say I'm here but I want to be there. How am I going to get there? Problem solving, et cetera. So we want to help people navigate stress and change which gets them stuck in there more primal parts of the brain and get them into what we call the smart state. So we call that stuck state, the critter state because it's like a little animal. Safe or not, dead or not, fight flight freeze, and there is a behavioral choice. We've all had this experience before. And when we go into critter state, we have very limited possibilities for what choices we want to make. We're pretty much in a survival state. What we want to do is when people get in kind of stressful change exclusion sort of scenarios, we want to notice that and we'll notice that by their behavior, which we're going to unpack with some tables in just a couple of minutes. We want to guide them into the smart state. The smart state is when the parts of our brain are all working together, high communication, high accountability, et cetera, everybody kind of in the zone. So let's talk about specifically how we do that. Take a moment, please and look at this. Let's think about this for a sec. How does your team deal with change? Two different paths, and I want you to think about this. There's the stress of change, right? It's uncertainty and the brain likes certainty. Humans really likes certainty. So here comes some uncertainty, some change. Does your team resist it, reject it? Do they get frustrated by, Oh God we're changing. Do they then get angry? Do they dismiss new ideas? And then thus reject change. And I want to think about the etymology of the word resist, resistere, Latin to old middle English, and resistance, resistere, means to press against. Have you noticed how much energy it takes to resist something? It's very energy intensive. It's not efficient at all. Path number two, stress of change. Wow. Yeah. It's stressful. Consenting.

Consenting doesn't mean we're approving of it. Consenting means here I am feeling stressed. We're not denying it, we're not resisting it. Consent from consentere. Again, Latin to middle English simply means to be present with, okay? So we're being present with it. Then the best thing possible we can do as a leader, get curious. We get curious. And what's interesting about curiosity is it enables us to step out and to start asking questions. Well, what specifically is stressful about this? Would this be stressful like if I changed this? Would this be stressful from this perspective? Then as we're asking questions, we become open-minded if you will, we get a new perspective, we can embrace change. So as you look at this, where do your people go at work? Because where they go at work, we need to shift if it's where they go is critter state. Because we are losing productivity but also it's causing them tremendous, emotional, mental, even physical and spiritual pain. We want to get to the smart state. So let's look at how we're going to do that. And let's go deeply into some tools. And the first tool is going to be the emotional wheel. But I want us to look at deeper connections, more trust. We're just look at what Mark Benioff highlighted. Deeper connections and more trust, proven playbook for increasing engagement, alignment, results. When we're in stress, we're not usually super aligned and engaged. Because if we were, we wouldn't feel as stressed. Because we would feel safe, we're in this together, we'd feel belonging, we're in this together. I'm part of a tribe, we're going to figure it out. We'd feel mattering. People see me, people hear my concerns. We're going to get to that in one sec. So let's look at a case study. This is one of our clients that we did some coaching work with and we've been working with them for quite some time. Here's their problem. Fortune 500 systems integrator. In 2Q, you guys remember 2020. 2Q of 2020 their revenue plummeted 27%. Wow. 31% profit loss. It was a bloodbath.

They needed to motivate their team, develop new services, do an Epic COVID pivot, reassure their customers, gain new ones. What did we do? Made sure that everybody felt safety, belonging, mattering, that tools coming up. Shifting from resistance to consent, we just talked about that. Focusing on the outcome, and we're going to step you through exactly how to shift the brain to look at outcomes instead of problems, and then use maneuvers for the super stack. So this case study is going to drive what we talked about today. Tool number one, the three things humans crave. Once we have food, water, shelter, warmth, and wifi, we must have, it is not optional, we must have safety, belonging and mattering. Autonomy is awesome, self-actualization is great. But the most successful companies that we work with first work on getting safety, belonging and mattering. Safety, certainty, security, freedom from fair, knowing people have our back, knowing that we're not alone. Belonging: being part of a tribe, having equal value, being able to depend on others, they will come through for me. Mattering: achievement, mastery, being recognized for our unique gifts. Let's take a second and think about safety, belonging, and mattering please. Think about how people don't buy products or services, they buy emotional experiences. I want to say that again. People do not buy, you do not buy products or services, you buy emotional experiences. Think about maybe using Federal Express versus using the us mail service. What might that give you more of an experience of? Would you feel more safety, belonging or mattering using FedEx? FedEx knows it's safety. That's why they say when an absolutely positively has to be there on time. Think about your financial advisor. What emotional experience do you want from your financial advisor? Do you want the experience of safety, don't mess up the money. Belonging, we're in this together. Mattering, you appreciate me. You decide. How about when you're with your friends? What emotional experience do you want most their? Safety, belonging, mattering. How about your significant other or your closest friend? Safety, belonging, mattering. How about the car that you drive? What emotional experience do you get from a car that you drive? Safety, belonging, mattering. We are constantly craving these experiences whether we're conscious or not.

I want us to be conscious because I want us to help our people shift out of problematic behaviors. So let's look at safety. We no longer need to judge people. How cool is that? We don't have to judge anybody ever again. over that. And here's the thing, because we can look at how they're behaving and that will tell us what emotional experience they are craving. So gossip, rumors, spreading fear, et cetera, talking about exiting, fighting back, et cetera. They're not experiencing safety. How do we give it to them? Talk with them about their concerns, normalize their experience. Don't ever make somebody's emotional experience wrong. Get curious about their emotional experience. Assure them that we're in this together, we're going to figure this out together. So I want us to start to pattern match. When you're at Starbucks or Peet's or Philz coffee or wherever you like to get your coffee, start to listen to what people are asking each other for. Start to listen to what the most important people in your life are asking you for because it's really, really fascinating. How about belonging? If somebody is having the experience of kind of isolating, dropping out of communication, not responding to emails timely, talking about how they're on their own, chances are really good they're craving belonging. How do we give it to them? So glad you're on the team. What are your ideas for increasing communication? How can we share information better? Include them in a team project. If all you take away today from our time together is this first tool of safety, belonging, mattering, it will change your relationships. How about mattering? Condescension, arrogance, shutting people out, being overly self-focused. If you start to see those behaviors, please don't judge. They're simply in critter state, they're in amygdala hijack, if you will, and they are perceiving threats everywhere, they are creating mattering. How do we do that? Call it their strengths, have them lead a key initiative, talk about their thought leadership. They need to matter. If you help them matter, they will be able to shift out of their problematic behavior much, much faster.

So I want us to be super aware of this, because again, we don't have to judge people any longer. But also leadership, as we know, is a privilege. Leadership is a privilege it is not an entitlement. And when we become a leader, we have to step into new levels of showing up for people. And sometimes they're uncomfortable. So let's look at how we can give safety, belonging, mattering, right? Here's something you can say. "You're doing everything really well, thanks for stretching. "I've got your back. Reach out to me. "I am here for you." Belonging: "So glad you're on the team. "So great to have you here. "Who could we bring into the loop? "Who else should we bring onto the team? "Who can we include." Mattering: "You're my top pick. "I totally trust you. I totally appreciate you. "How can I help you shine?" So let's just do a quick little group lab. Think about the answers. Shout it out if you would like on your own. If somebody has the repetitive behavior of fight flight freeze, what do you think they're asking you for? Safety, belonging, or mattering? Fight, flight, freeze. Yeah, safety. Good. Us versus them. There's the suits and there are those of us who actually do the work, right? Okay. What are we experiencing there? A lack of belonging. We're not in this together. Please write that down. Together is one of the most powerful words in your vocabulary as a leader. And I mean a leader at work, a leader at home, a leader with your friends, a leader with your aging parents, a leader with your teenagers, everywhere. Together implies rich amounts of safety, belonging, and mattering. Okay. Let's keep going. Perpetually seeking recognition. Perpetually needing recognition, mattering. Victim, complaining, whining, nobody appreciates me, et cetera. Chances are really good it's mattering, maybe a little bit more. And then procrastinating, which is the opposite the other side of perfectionism. Two sides, same coin. If somebody has procrastination, I'll give you a hint, it's a combination. What do you think comes first? Procrastinating, perfectionism. I want to make sure I do this right. I don't feel safe. Generally, we find it's safety first, mattering, next. If I don't this right, I might not matter because we all really identify with our work, especially in the USA. Does this make sense? So stay with this. Let's do one more thing.

Clear communication, clear expectations at work, what emotional experience will that create? Safety. Yes. Okay. Tribal rituals. We all come together, we celebrate things together, that might foster a sense of what? Belonging. We are of the same tribe, we are in this together. Good. Recognition programs where we're recognizing individuals, rock stars, high-fives, giving people the emotional experience of mattering. Individual development plans, career pathing, I know how I'm going to evolve here, mattering plus. Good. Onboarding. Onboarding value-based, thoughtful onboarding, combo pack. Okay. Let's take a sec. So when I was picking a bank seriously, I was at Wells Fargo Bank I was super disappointed because I didn't feel safe because they were making all sorts of mistakes and it was not good. Don't mess up my money, right? So I thought I need to find a bank that gives me the experience of safety, the experience of belonging, they understand me. They understand how to deal with a client like me. And mattering, they appreciate my business. So I thought it would be fun to mention that's the experience I get from First Republic Bank. How cool is that? As we're teaching safety, belonging, mattering, we all probably get that from our bank. Wow! Good. Practical meanwhile down to earth, explanation or application of safety, belonging, mattering, the world's simplest and in my experience, most effective employee engagement survey. Check this out. We've got three questions on safety. Look on the left. It's safe to try new approaches, et cetera, et cetera. When I make a mistake, I'm corrected with respect. So three questions on safety, three on belonging, three on monitoring, one on net promoter because it's always a good idea. And I want you to check this out for a second. This is a real client. 10 questions, 10 possible points each. Again, world's easiest and most effective of employee engagement survey. When you send it out, please don't break it up by category. Just say, here are 10 questions. For each question, make sure you have a comment field because the comments are going to be gold. They're going to tell you a lot. Break it down by departments because each department head leads in a particular way. And there was a mini culture, a little miniature culture within each.

Then of course, to the far right we have the entire company. So check this out. Where do we have a problem in leadership here? Right. Investments, right? What's a horizontal problem we have? Horizontally, we have a lot of people that are feeling that they don't get acknowledgement and appreciation at work. And then what's one more problem that we have? Well, the marketing people look at the very bottom, don't want to refer their friends to work here. So this is one way you can apply, you can gauge very easily, hundreds or thousands of people, what's their emotional experience at our company. Then you can take your copy of Power Your Tribe, and Amy was discussing how you can actually get a free copy, and you can go to chapter seven and eight. You can unpack it, you can put the programs in place, run it again, and I like to do nine months because it takes a few months to put the programs in place and to see the benefit, see the numbers go up, see your retention go up, see your productivity go up. All right, good. So let's talk about how to apply safety, belonging, mattering. Then we've got three more tools. Do an SBM index at work, right? That's the example I just showed you, right? Listen to what people just kind of listen as you're out in the world. You'll hear people asking each other for safety, belonging, or mattering. Know what your most important people crave from you. Separate the person from their behavior. We no longer have... There are no bad people, there are just behaviors that work or don't, okay? Good. Tool number two, this is a tool that Walmart and several other huge companies use to start each meeting. The emotional wheel. It helps us gauge the room. You don't want to walk into a room and just start a meeting. Especially not these days. You want to pop the emotional wheel up and say, "Hey everybody, how are you feeling?" Because if you look at the most recent emotional intelligence research, only 36% of us actually know what we're feeling at any given moment.

That's nuts. The more we can help people drop in and say, wow, I'm feeling overwhelmed, or I'm feeling frustrated, or I'm feeling discouraged. Or, you know what? I'm feeling really peaceful today. If we can help people to just get present to how they're feeling, then we can help them shift their behavior and expand their behavioral choices. So here's how we use the emotional wheel. This is the fastest tool there is. We look at the wheel. We say, okay, let me consent, let me get present talent feeling. Well, how am I feeling? Okay. I'm feeling whatever, overwhelmed, which is what most people say to me. They're feeling overwhelmed. Okay. So step number two, be present with it. Don't just smush it down because it's going to come out later in inappropriate behavior. Seriously, you have to just be present with it for a sec while I'm feeling overwhelmed. Okay. Got it. Done Being overwhelmed. Now, what would I like? So this brings us to my favorite tool that our clients love. It's called the outcome frame. It takes people from focusing on a problem to focusing on the outcome that they want. It's a series of questions. It is very basic hypnotic language and it's not like evil hypnotic language. It's actually helpful hypnotic language. And that it guides people into a more positive state. So stay with me as we go through these questions. You're going to use an outcome frame at work, at home, in a group, whenever we want to get new insights and help people design their own future and take initiative. So first we ask, what would you like? A positive outcome you can create and maintain. I'll show an example in a second. Second, what will have in that do for you? How will you feel? What will the benefits be of this particular positive outcome that you want? How will you know when you have it? What's the proof that's going to show up so you can say, I got that positive outcome, yes. We use this in coaching all the time. What do you value might you risk or lose? What side effects might occur? What might you have to let go of? And what are your next steps? Now notice what we're doing here. Would, will, will. What would you like? That's like a buffet you haven't committed yet. You then commit what will having that do for you? How will, you know you have it. What we're actually doing here is we're pulling people literally with language, into what we call a desired state.

When we do the outcome frame, we want to do it for 15 minutes. Please write that down. When we do the outcome frame for 15 minutes, we take people into an experience of having that outcome already which is why it's so powerful. They get visual cues, they get auditory cues, they're hearing themselves in that future, they're feeling themselves in that future. They then end the outcome frame deeply committed to creating that future. It is a beautiful thing. So what would you like? Here's an example. I'd like more strategic time. Anybody else want more strategic time? What will having that do for you? Well, I'll feel more engaged and energized, like I'm really making a difference. I'll feel proud, I'll feel peaceful, I'll feel powerful. See what else they say. How will you know when you have it? Look how specific this is. Two hours or more each week on strategy. Cut the number of meetings I attend by 25%. Direct reports are all at leadership level five or higher. We have to have criteria, specific criteria or else we don't pull people into that beautiful desired state. Notice question number four, the ego question. What a value might you risk or lose? Question number four tells you why you don't have yet the outcome that you want. This is what's preventing you from getting what you want. So in this example, you won't get more strategic time if you're not okay to initially feel less important, to initially be less involved in the minutia, to have to let go of some control, to have to resist the temptation to rescue people, to invest time in cultivating directs more powerfully because they aren't to be able to take over this work for you if you don't grow them. So question number four is so powerful because people will often say, well, there's no risk. I want this strategic time. This is a great thing. But if there wasn't a risk, they'd have it already. So question number four, you've gotta probe there, okay? What are your next steps? Set up recurrent strategic time in calendar, one-on-ones to offload some work, build leadership, determine which means to skip, see how we end this with an actual action plan. So we're moving forward. Now what happens? And this is the graphic, and we're giving you guys a bunch of graphics so you can hang them in your office and remember to use them. And the one I'm giving you here has six questions. We just inserted when, where, with whom would you like it? So you scope it.

But I want to stress that if you're doing an outcome frame and a person doesn't know what they would like, which is surprisingly common, but people know what they would not like. That's okay. If they say, well, I don't want so much stress. Okay. Don't want so much stress, and I don't want this and that, write down all the stuff they don't want. Ask them what's most painful. Well, the stress. I don't want so much stress. Okay, good. Circle that. If you didn't have so much stress, what would you have? And then they will tell you the positive alternative. I would have more peace. Ah, thank you. So you would like more peace. Okay. Do you get it? So now we're in action. We're in motion. So it's gotta be a positive outcome that they can create and maintain. It can't be, I want to win the lottery. Okay. It's gotta be, I want to be peaceful inside regardless of what's happening outside, I want to create new accountability standards for my team, whatever, something that they can actually do. So I encourage you to use this infographic, to use the outcome frame tool as widely as you possibly can. And I'm going to tell you a quick example. When my mother had leukemia, she was very angry at her body, very upset. And I thought, you know what? I can use an outcome frame. One day she finally was done being angry and she said, "Okay, use all your crazy brain tools on me." And I said, "Okay, mom, great. So, what would you like?" And she was like, "You know what? "I just want to have a peaceful experience with this disease." I said, "Okay, great." We went through the outcome frame. She became totally peaceful, no longer angry, et cetera. She had the most beautiful last month of life. Yes. Do I regret that she didn't want to do the outcome frame earlier? A little bit. But you know what? She had to have her own process. So her last month of life was so incredibly beautiful and peaceful because we used the outcome frame.

Use it all the time. It helps people feel better and it helps them shift their state, and actually design a new future, test drive that future, and let it be okay to have it. So what's the impact when we use this tool at work. Well, Chris Whitney, who's now in the second company that he's built with us, and it is three years in and rapidly approaching 100 million in revenue. Yes, because they use all of our tools and there people are like super people because they're using the best parts of their brain. People taking greater ownership, more engaged, really going into a strategic time, not just being tactical, more clarity, more focus, more accountability. Your people can be super people. If you just test out these tools from today, you will be blown away at how much more resilient your people become. It's really quite remarkable. And even when I've worked with the eight billionaires I've worked with, they're upping their game. Everybody can up their game with these tools because we are so much bigger than we think we are. Alright. We're going to go to Q&A, start thinking about your questions guys, your practical application of these tools because we're going to go to Q&A about 15 minutes, maybe a smidge earlier than that. What happens when a person is really stuck and they're like, I don't want to do an outcome frame... Or they're just floored by how challenging things are. So we had the great good fortune to work with our wonderful client Nestle. And they flew me out to Australia for some crisis intervention because you guys remember the Australian wildfires. That was a huge problem. Wildfires, drought, supply chain messed up, flooding. I mean, it was just like one disaster after another, natural disaster after another. So we got, I'm serious, a little bit over 150 people. I don't remember the exact number, in a room, buddy them up and did maneuvers of consciousness. Maneuvers of the consciousness is what you do before the outcome frame if people are very stuck. If they are like or if they're just like in shock, like our clients Nestle were there, they were just in shock. This was just like so many hard things happening at once. The way you need to do it, because emotions have energy, and Dr. David Hawkins, MD-PhD proved this with his measurements of magnetic fields of the human body, we need to make sure that we get all that negative stuff out. You all know somebody I bet who had a painful romantic breakup, maybe even 10, 20 years ago. And they're still carrying that pain.

You can do them a favor and offer to do maneuvers of consciousness with them because they need to get rid of it, okay? Why suffer? So maneuvers, one part partner is just going to be really quiet. Oh, this is great for teenagers. Our clients uses with their teenagers all the time. One partner, the buddy is going to be quiet. Then there's the talker. Okay. All the buddy does is set the timer for three minutes, okay? Negative evaluation. The speaker says all the things that they don't like. So pick something that you're resisting and then trash it, they trash it. This I hate, that I hate, this is unfair, bla bla bla. Three minutes is up. They look emotion wheel, which was the second tool I showed you. You guys can all have the deck afterwards, use the tools. They look at the emotion wheel, they say how they're feeling. Then you do need to shake your body out. We call that a neuro-linguistics and break state. Okay. because emotions have energy. Then we go to curiosity. You can count from 10 backwards as well if you need more of a break. Then we go to curiosity. Okay. What are you really curious about with this thing that you were resisting? They get really curious, look at the emotion. Three minutes is up, they look at the emotional wheel, shake your body out. Next three minutes on amazement. What's amazing about this thing that you were resisting? They do that, shake their buddy up, break state. Next, full appreciation. Now I don't like to leave them at full appreciation because now they're in this really peaceful state. I find if you look at a functional MRI, now is the perfect time to do an outcome frame. It cements the new behavior that they're going to do. So you can do this in buddies, you can do this alone, all the tools I'm showing you today, you can do alone if you are stuck. Because if the leader is stuck, the people are going to be stuck. It's just how it works. We all check our leader regularly. Primates check their leader every 30 to 40 seconds to see how their leader is feeling, how it appears their leader is feeling and they gauge their own results or their own behaviors. So here's the maneuvers of consciousness. Infographic we're going to send you. And now let's talk about applying these tools. So emotional wheel, outcome frame, maneuvers, use them all at work, use them at home. Use them in groups. One of our clients had a software product that didn't ship right, it didn't satisfy the customers.

Everybody was pointing fingers, got all the engineers together, okay, did a group maneuvers of consciousness, and then did a what would we like? And by the end of the meeting, everybody was in action to fix it. So all these tools do alone, do in groups, do one-on-one, do solo. You can start meetings with the emotion wheel. because if you walk into a meeting and everybody's feeling discouraged, you better address that first. So you may as well know what's going on with people. We can diffuse, we can solve problems with maneuvers, and then the outcome frame, as I mentioned, we can brainstorm, cause insights, cause aspiration with the outcome frame, okay. So let's look at what happened when we use these tools with our case study. They ended 2020 with revenue up 30%. They had planned on 20% before COVID hit. So that was surprising, right? Up 30%, profit, 17%, okay? The problem was solved. So I want us to start to notice that it's about our people. It's about how we help our people navigate change and navigate growth. So let's just do some quick takeaways and then we can get to Q&A. So we want to add better feeling choices to our behavioral menu and the behavioral menu of our people. Give them safety, belonging, mattering. It's what they need to get into their smart state, to be fully functional, to not be in fight flight freeze, to be in high innovation collaboration, communication. Name our emotions. Let it be safe for someone to say, I feel overwhelmed. Then we can remove that resistance and we can get emotion. Focus on the outcomes, help people lead themselves and lead others using the outcome frame. And if somebody is super stuck, use maneuvers to help them get unstuck so they can move forward. Okay? Good. We want to get the high ROI of emotionally resilient teams. No matter what comes at us, we can adapt and shift and pivot. This is what we all want for our families, for our friends, for our colleagues. So we're going to go to questions in just a sec. If you find that you have a question later that we didn't answer, you can email us. Just email ops, like or if you want to have a meeting, go and request one at So let's see what sort of questions we have. And I want us to think about practical application. So you're going to take these tools, I'm going to have a . You're going to take these tools, you're going to go out in the world, what change navigation challenges do you have right now?

Sophia Smith -  Christine, thank you so much for that. As the questions start rolling in, we can start off with our first one here. Will these techniques work for a very small team about eight people total with three to four being very junior in their early 20s, and the others, very senior leaders and owners.

Christine - Yes. What will work great with these tools is it will bring people together and it will help them see how they are similar. Because sometimes when you have two different groups if you will, you can have silos, you can have people not really understand each other. And so what would be great would be whatever you're doing in your business, if there's a shared outcome you guys want to create, start to you have maybe smaller groups like the marketing could do a, okay, what would we like for the marketing department? What would we like for R and D? Yes. So our clients use these in small groups, one-on-one, and they use them solo, and then they use them in increasingly larger groups, definitely.

Sophia -  Awesome. And another question. Within the outcome frame, can you give an example of a positive outcome that you can create and maintain in step one?

Christine - Yeah. Good. So let's see, thinking about something that you would not like and then think of the positive counterpart. So here's some examples of positive outcomes I've seen with our clients. They want to be peaceful inside regardless of what's happening outside. They want to create more clarity in the roles and responsibilities in their companies so their people can rise up. They want to build stronger relations between sales and marketing. So here's the thing. They can't change those people, the sales and marketing people in the example I just gave, but they can create the conditions for people to then step in. We can't control people, but we can invite them to new behaviors. And if a leader has historically kept sales and marketing separate, they have created conditions for separativity. We want to create conditions now to get sales and marketing to be aligned so they work better together and the finger pointing goes away. And then the example I gave of more strategic time. Most leaders I know want more strategic time because they do get caught up, especially in smaller companies, they do get caught up in the doing. The working in the business instead of the working on the business. So think of the things that irritate you most, the things that you do not want, and then look at the positive counterpart for each one. I do not want so much stress. Okay. Well then, if I didn't have so much stress, what would I have? Oh, I'd have more peace. Ah, that's what I want. More peace. Okay. So the easiest way sometimes is to look at what you don't want and then look at the positive counterpart, and then do your confirm on that. Okay. Great questions you guys. Thank you.

Sophia -  Another question here. How can I use these tools during an interview process?

Christine - Oh, very interesting. Okay. In chapter seven, empower your tribe, we have a tool called meta-programs which we did not go over today because it takes about 45 minutes to go over meta-programs. But we talk about safety, belonging, mattering questions. So questions you could ask people in interviews to find out what they crave most from their work experience because you need to know that. It's really important for you to know if they crave safety from their work experience, if they create belonging, they want to be part of the team, they want to support and interact with others, or if they want mattering, they really want to make sure that they get lots of recognition. Because based on what role, if they're in a support role, I really hope they create belonging. They're going to be a more effective supporter if they create belonging. So we can ask them safety, belonging, mattering questions. So for instance, what's most important to you? Job security and knowing that you have a long-term role, really fitting in deeply with a team and feeling like you really are one of the team, or making sure that you get regular recognition and appreciation? And somebody might say, well, I want all of them. Say, yes, I get that but could you rank them in order from you please? So that's great. And then you could use the outcome frame saying, well, when you look at your career, what is it that you would like? And if you walk them through an outcome frame in an interview, you're going to understand how ambitious they are, how creative they are, how committed they are, you're going to understand a lot about them. So those two tools, safety, belonging, mattering questions, and then of course meta-programs in chapter seven, and then doing an outcome for them I think would be very interesting in interviewing.

Sophia -  Awesome. Another question that we have here is I recognize that I need the SBM process but my boss doesn't necessarily provide it. How can I create it for myself?

Christine - Okay. I want to make sure I understand this properly. Is it that you... I'm going to assume unless you type in another question, I can do a clarification. Is it that you want to experience safety, belonging, mattering but your boss doesn't speak that language if you will? Because you're going to ask for safety, belonging and mattering, okay? You can simply say I'll do an example for each for safety. You could say, "Hey, I really want to understand "how I can be the best employee "that you've ever worked with." How can I... What do I need to provide so that my is really clear, it's clear what I am responsible for, and I meet all of your expectations, okay? For belonging, "Hey, I want to be the best ex that you've ever worked with. "How can I be the best team player? "Who do you think I could get along with best? "How did that can make the greatest contributions?" For mattering, "I want to be the best ex, "how do you think I could shine? "Can you let me know when you really like my work? "Can you let me know when my work "is really making a difference?" So you can just ask for that emotional experience because some people aren't tuned into this. Does that make sense? And I want to say to the leaders out there, when you're talking to people and they're in a group, you want to say all of them, safety, belonging, mattering. Let's say that you're doing a company meeting. Here's just a sample. Thank you all for being here.

Each of you makes a great contribution individually to this organization. Thank you for being part of this tribe. It really means the world how everybody came together and took this challenging quarter and really rocked it and made a huge difference. Together, we're going to go forward with proven processes, with all of our learnings from the past, and we're going to create this next quarter with lots of terrific accomplishments, lots of amazing teamwork, and fantastic results. So that was just a quick safety, belonging and mattering, we're all woven through that. And what's cool is since the brain deletes, distorts, and generalizes, the people listening for safety will hear the safety messages I just said. Listening for belonging, they hear the belonging. Listening for mattering, they hear the mattering. It's a beautiful thing. So I want to make sure that we start to notice it's not an either or it's an and. You can have all of them. Good. Thank you. I know we have a bunch of questions so I'm going to let us go to the next one.

Sophia -  Yeah. The next one here is how will these techniques work in a nonprofit or religious organization? And just a follow-up to that one, can I use these techniques in a fundraising setting?

Christine - Oh, okay. For-profit or non-profit, religious or not, doesn't really matter. These are questions for humans, okay? So think of them as just these are questions so that we can align and role engage understand each other more deeply. Now for fundraising, that's a neat idea. You could use an outcome frame for development, right? So you probably can donate to lots of different organizations. But I'm curious, for your philanthropic dollars, what would you like around your philanthropic giving? Well, I want to make sure that I'm really making a difference, or I want to make sure that the nonprofit is aligned with my course, with my desires or whatever. So you could actually see the outcome frame. Thank you for bringing us up. The outcome frame is fantastic in sales, fantastic to use in sales because you need to know what someone would like, what will having that do for them, how they're going to feel, what benefits they're going to get from that thing that they would like, what of how they're going to know when they got it, right? Like with coaching, we use the outcome frame when we're talking to potential coaching clients. Because if they don't know what they would like, or they don't know how they're going to know that we're successful together, I don't want to work with them yet. They say, I need my people to be more productive. I'll say, fantastic. How much more productive? I need more strategic time. How much more strategic time? We want people to put kind of a stake in the ground because then, we can coach them, we can do workshops, et cetera to ensure that they get that result. So with the donors at the sales scenario, find out what emotional experience they would like.

You're going to hear their safety, belonging or mattering desires based on how they talk to you. They say, I want to make sure that you're not going to waste my money. If that's pretty much a safety thing. I want to make sure that we're really aligned and that we're in this together, belonging. I want to make sure that, like I get recognition for the amount of money that I give, et cetera, mattering. Yeah. Creative application. Good. Okay. Thank you.

Sophia -  The next question here, my challenge now is being remote and understanding how staffs are coping. Can you give a few tips on remote applications?

Christine - Oh, please start your meetings with the emotion wheel. Please, please. I cannot tell you how much people love the emotion wheel when it's using it remotely. I mean, it's huge using it physically. but just making it safe for people to say how they feel, it brings teams so much more closely together. I mean, what's great about all this remote work is that we're hearing babies cry and dogs bark and the FedEx guy coming. We're becoming more human with each other and not feeling like we have to be like these perfect robotic workers. So starting meetings with the emotion wheel is really cool. And if people can just say, this is how I'm feeling, then you can get curious and you can listen in a whole new way. One of the tools that we like for listening is called the meta model. Because often what happens when people listen to each other, they assume. If someone says, oh, this is really difficult. Yeah, it is. You don't know what difficult means to them. Or this is really difficult. No, it's not. Okay. Well, our job when we're listening is not to agree or disagree. Our job when we're listening is to learn what that person's experiences. So they say, "Wow, this is really difficult." And we say, "Oh, thank you. How specifically? "Or difficult compared to what?" And we start to get curious. Now we're stepping onto their map of the world and we're understanding what it's like to be them, now we can help them solve it. But so often as leaders we're in, Oh, I need to agree or disagree. And we shut people down and we miss all the good stuff they were going to tell us, or they could told us if we would have just said, how specifically, what specifically, please don't use the word exactly. Many people experience exactly like a test, that is pass, fail.

Complex equivalence, I'm not going to go into it, is a neuroscience term for basically how we experience words. The two words with the greatest divergence, the greatest difference in complex equivalents in the English language, integrity, respect. This is why so many people feel that they're not being respected when the other person is saying, I respect . Well, I'm not feeling respected, right? Because we're not, we have different definitions of the word. So complex equivalents is real. It's based on our frame of reference and how we grew up. Please don't assume what somebody's experienced is. Ask them how specifically, ask them how you're feeling today, ask them what would you like, et cetera. Let's find out what it's like to be somebody else. Good. Okay. More questions.

Sophia -  And I believe you just touched upon this, but someone asked can you talk a bit more about the use of the emotion wheel at the start of the meeting? I'm a bit unclear on the application. For example, I start a meeting, person one is anxious, person two is peaceful, but there are 15 people in the meeting. What do I do now?

Christine - Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Good. Good. Alright. So we put up a slide or whatever we've distributed the emotion wheel, whatever it is. What we want to do, it's very quick. We give people a minute to like drop in and feel Because for many of us, it's not familiar. We feel, then we say, okay, everybody ready? Great. And we just go, whatever, clockwise around the room. We take whatever the majority is. If the majority is... We take the negative stuff. A few people are feeling positive, not a problem. But if people are feeling like anxious, whatever, et cetera, then we can say, ah, thank you so much for sharing. How specifically are you anxious? Or what specifically are you anxious about? That's where we can use the meta model, right? And we make it safe for people to share it because they might say, well I've got this huge deadline coming up and I don't know how I'm going to meet it. And I'm kind of like frustrated even being in this meeting because I don't have time to be in this meeting. And then the leader can say, "Ah, excellent. "Okay, if you could just please recap what your deadline is, "and then who can help? "Who can help Joe on his deadline?" And then people will start to chime in or we can renegotiate. It brings people beautifully together. So the positive ones, you don't need to worry about. The people who were suffering, you need to ask them how specifically, what specifically is stressful because we're all in this together. A really good time to use the together word so people don't feel broken. If they're not feeling peaceful and the guy next to them is, how specifically? And then you can help guide the meeting so that maybe the person who's feeling curious or something, you're going to get somebody who's feeling curious and you could say to her, "Hey, what are you curious about?" And she could say, "Well, I'm curious about why we do it this way "when we could actually do it that way." Which could open up a whole new process improvement. So look at the ones where there's potential or where there's pain. Makes sense? But you've got to do it, and you should do it first.

Always go first when you're introducing the emotion wheel. Well, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. And you can start it out by letting each person say I'm feeling such and such, and here's why. You could also do that as they're getting more comfortable and as people are feeling safer with each other. Good. I know we've got a bunch more questions. Let's see if we can bop through them all.

Sophia -  Yeah. A few more here. So I'm trying to fully understand the distinction between belonging and mattering. What's a good example of how an employee might feel they belonged but did not matter, and vice versa.

Christine - Okay, great. It does get a little, it's a little subtle, isn't it? The difference. Mattering is more like being seen for your unique contributions. It's not as team-oriented, right? Belonging is more pride in being part of a team. Mattering is I want to be seen as an individual. I want my unique gifts to be celebrated and acknowledged. Belonging is I want to make sure I fit in and I want to be similar to others. So if somebody is creating belonging, it's about the team. What a great team player they are. How they contribute so much to the team. And I get that that's a little bit of mattering. But their payoff is more how they play well with others. Mattering is more, am I actually seen? Am I uniquely seen and acknowledged and appreciated? So I get that it's subtle. Notice if people want credit or if people don't care. Hey, if the team gets credit, that's great. People don't need to know how I shined. Or if the person's like, well, I really did this such and such. It would be nice to be acknowledged for that. Does the person get lit up when the team is acknowledged? Or more lit up when they're acknowledged individually? Oh, chapter two, chapter two in "Power Your Tribe" which you will get if you filled in the little form, goes more deeply to safety, belonging, mattering and I'd be doing videos on YouTube. Just search for my channel on YouTube, Christine Comaford. Thank you.

Sophia - Awesome. Another question here and probably the last one. Logistically, could you please explain how best to use the emotion wheel when facilitating a large meeting? I.e greater than 20 individuals.

Christine - Okay. What you can do is if it's like a crazy, huge meeting, you could break into little pods and you could just do a very short round robin with each pod on the emotion wheel. And you could say, share what your emotion is and share what's creating that emotion. Well, I'm feeling stressed and it's that I've got this huge deadline. Because if we share, what's creating that experience, especially when we're doing little breakout pods, then we could gather what we learned from each pod. We could have a spokesperson from each pod if you will, share. And we'd have a feeling for pretty quickly how the whole room is doing.

Sophia -  That was a great example. Thank you, Christine. And we'd like to be mindful of everyone's time. So I think that's it for today. But Christine has graciously shared her email on the slide right there. So if you'd like to ask her a question, of course, feel free to email her. And the recording of this webinar will be available on First Republic's website in about a week. So stay tuned for that. Christine, thank you so much for being here with us today. And yeah, that concludes our webinar for today.

Christine - Thank you everybody. Enjoy your tools. Use your tools.

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